Are Your Support Systems On The Fritz?
Just like everything else in life…
Nothing is created perfectly equal. Support systems included.
What are support systems, you ask?
Have you ever sat down to list out just how many (or how few) contacts you can tap into on a regular basis that can offer you an ear to listen, a boost to lift, a word of wisdom or a piece of advice? What if you have a multitude of these relationships in place, but they just don’t seem to be working just right?
It all boils down to 2 things: intuition and strength.
Let’s back up a moment here and talk about what support systems are. Depending on who you are, what you need support for and where you live, support systems are just as individual as our fingerprints. However, the purpose of having a support system is to give you the strength you need to persevere in any situation you may face, so you can ultimately achieve your goals.
Support systems in life may consist not only of friends and family, but may also include your therapist or life coach, your nutritionist, your fitness trainer, your hair stylist (yes, I went there – lol), your co-worker, your nanny, your yoga instructor, and anyone else who helps you to be a better YOU.
In business, your support systems may consist of your board of advisers, your business coach, your life coach, your lawyer, your sponsor, your boss or your mentor. These support systems should help you to grow your business by guiding you to make effective decisions, by providing feedback, by suggesting resources and by sharing their expertise with you. Whether you are facing a challenging situation or managing day to day operations, your support system should be there for you.
Support systems are there to SUPPORT you, right? Well, this may seem obvious to you, but it is amazing how many people don’t see when a support system is not supporting them anymore and end up feeling abused, abandoned or alienated.
How do you know when a support system is broken?
You know that it is time to reevaluate a support system when your interactions turn negative or become intrusive.
You know a support system is failing when you consistently feel depleted or bad about yourself after each conversation.
You know that support system isn’t working when your trust is broken or when you feel betrayed.
You know when a support system isn’t working out when you feel misunderstood.
You know that a support system isn’t serving you when you feel judged, belittled, criticized or mistreated in some way.
What do you do to fix a broken support system?
Just as with any relationship when there is a problem, the first step is to get clear on what the problem is and then to communicate this to the other party. When a support system falls short of your expectations or stirs up drama, it’s time to reevaluate within yourself your goals with this support system.
Now is when the intuition comes into play. The most important thing in business and life is to listen to and trust your intuition. Your intuition will never steer you in the wrong direction, whereas a support system can. When you listen to your intuition, you send a message to the universe that you value yourself. (BTW, One of the best ways to get in touch with your intuition is through the regular practice of meditation.)
REMEMBER: Support is a 2 way street. For a support system to work on a consistent basis and to maintain healthy functioning, all parties involved need to be winning on some level. Sometimes the win comes form paying for a service, such as with a therapist or coach. Other times the reward comes from recognition or following guidance. The truth is when things get out of whack, it is usually because one or both parties are no longer winning. Maybe someone is feeling taking for granted or taken advantage of. Maybe one party feels neglected or ignored. Or maybe one person feels frustrated with a lack of results. Either way, you have to step up to the plate and find a solution.
From the beginning of any relationship or support system, one of the best things you can do is to talk about and agree upon how you will both win from the relationship. Build the relationship by staying in regular communication, expressing gratitude for each other’s contributions and successes and consistently checking in to make sure that everyone is satisfied with the progress being made.
Once you have your support systems in order, you will be able to achieve those goals you have set for yourself with the help of your handpicked winning team. As much as we like to convince ourselves… we do need support to succeed. It’s just a matter of keeping everything in a positive place and paying attention to our intuition.
So, who is on your team?
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http://wowisme.net/ Adryenn Ashley
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